The 2026 college football season is so close you can almost taste it at this point.
As the calendar flips from July to August, teams will start fall camp in the coming days and with that, all the familiar sensory cues will signal that we’ve nearly made it to the start of another year of football.
The sight of the ball flying through the air, the sound of pads popping in the hot sun, and the smell of freshly cut grass are all reminders of how lucky we are to be alive at a time when college football exists.
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Speaking of smells, Oregon tight end Jamari Johnson was at Big Ten Media Days earlier this week, and when asked by KOIN News’ Brenna Greene about how quarterback Dante Moore likes to keep things light in the huddle, the rising sophomore revealed some rather stinky information regarding the Ducks’ signal caller.
Pardon me?
“Alright guys big fourth down coming up here, we’re going hard count so don’t false start and also remember, he who smelt it dealt it. Okay, BREAK!”
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Sounds like Moore is channeling his inner Steamin’ Willie Beamin and making bodily functions in the huddle cool again.
When it was relayed to Moore that Johnson was speaking out of turn and ruining the sanctity of what happens in the huddle, the Heisman hopeful was less than pleased.
“You gotta find ways to connect with the team, so we do that,” said a clearly embarrassed Moore.
He added that “too much stuff is getting leaked out,” which is a very poor choice of words on his part, given the context of the conversation.
What’s even funnier is that Oregon is historically known for running an up-tempo, no-huddle offense dating all the way back to the Chip Kelly era, and it sounds like head coach Dan Lanning should think about keeping it that way.
If what Johnson says is true, and his players are in the huddle trying to one-up each other in a flatulence competition, it’s a miracle they’re able to get any of the play calls in on time.
Plus, what if one of those farts turns into something extra? You can’t be wasting timeouts for wardrobe changes when you’re down three late against Ohio State all because your star quarterback soiled his jock.
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Then again, Oregon finished tied for tenth in the nation with 37 points per game, and Moore is on everyone’s short list of Heisman candidates, so maybe stick to what’s working.
If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Go Ducks, fart on!
