Buckle up. Last week I was, as I admitted, dragging heading into Thursday and needed more caffeine than normal to get going. There’s no such problem with that today. The sun is out and I can taste the weekend.
Plus, the problem with modern dating has been discovered. If that doesn’t excite you, nothing will. Thankfully, I haven’t been in the game for many, many years now, but it’s good to finally have some answers for those still looking for “the one.”
Who better to set the tone for this week’s True Romance and give people the answers they’ve been looking for than Chelsea Handler? When a relationship expert speaks, we listen around here.
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According to the 51-year-old comedian, men are the problem. She said, “It’s very hard in today’s world to meet straight guys that have their s— together. … Something’s wrong. I don’t know what’s wrong.”
She had put on a superhero cape and attempted to help women find quality men, but says dating apps and social media ruined that. Men have so many choices that they don’t have to “lock it in.”
The badass ladies out there can’t find anyone. Handler said of the men, “They can swipe through 50 women a day. So they’re not making the effort that people used to make to date.”
How did she do it?
If she’s out there trying to set women up with quality men, then she must have a success story of her own, right? What are we talking, one or two decades of a successful relationship under her belt?
That’s not for Chelsea. According to her, she wouldn’t say that she’s in a relationship. She’s “dabbling in different areas,” because she doesn’t “like to be tethered to one person.”
If only we can get those guys who aren’t locking it in to figure it out.
Maybe one day that will happen. Until then, we have other pressing matters to get to, like the doctor who is claiming his ex-mistress sent his wife nudes and a partner swap proposal that could have other motivations behind it.
Once we get through that, we have some serious business in the form of a hypothetical poll about cheating with a married celebrity to take care of.
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A “prominent gastroenterologist,” as the NY Post describes him, is alleging in a lawsuit filed in the Manhattan Supreme Court that his much younger ex-mistress sent naked pictures to his wife after their affair ended.
The 57-year-old New Jersey doctor, who The Post names, but isn’t named in the lawsuit, claims that he’s being relentlessly harassed by a 29-year-old woman who he had an affair with.
She was reportedly upset that he had ended the relationship and allegedly started threatening to send naked recordings of him to his family. Now, if naked recordings of him with his former mistress exist, that’s a mistake you just can’t make.
The lawsuit alleges that the ex-mistress did end up sending an explicit picture of the doctor to his wife while threatening to send images to his college-age sons. These intimate pictures were supposed to remain private.
She was reportedly arrested on stalking, harassment, two counts of aggravated harassment and unlawful disclosure of intimate images. She has denied those claims and pleaded not guilty.
In addition to all of that, she also, according to the suit, dragged the affair onto LinkedIn and damaged the doctor’s career.
The affair went south when the mistress found out she was in a relationship with a married man. He ended up filing for divorce, but the proceedings were halted a few months later.
The former mistress claims she was showered with gifts and even provided with a furnished apartment during their relationship. But this wasn’t a sugar baby situation. She thought he might be the one.
The court system will have to sort out the mess here, but there are some tough lessons to be learned from following your heart down a path that leaves you in a spot where nudes are allegedly flying around.
You could say don’t cheat, but that’s easier said than done for some. The easier step to take would be to not let your mistress take pictures of you at all, especially not without any clothes on.
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I hear terms thrown around like “partner swap” and think to myself, how does that work and what could possibly go wrong? On paper, they look like a disaster waiting to happen.
But it has to work out for a few people out there, right? You would think a couple who are swingers and get down with neighbors, old friends and strangers would be able to handle it.
The girlfriend isn’t so sure. Right out of the gate she feels like she’s coming out on the short end of the proposed partner swap. Her boyfriend wants to “shake things up” for the summer.
The swinging with the neighbors, old friends and strangers isn’t cutting it. He thinks they’ve become set in their ways and complacent. You can’t have that. He’s come up with a solution to their predicament.
“He wants to go and live with a like-minded neighbor for three months, while her husband comes here,” she told the Daily Star. “He says we can still meet up for group sex whenever we fancy but thinks it will be thrilling to wake up next to someone new for a while.”
That would shake things up, but is there something else going on here? She isn’t into the other guy. He’s annoying and goes at it “like a pneumatic drill.” His wife says he “can go five times a night.”
She’s not thrilled about the prospects of that, and she’s a little worried. Her boyfriend and the pneumatic drill’s wife are into each other. She says they have “an undeniable spark and attraction.”
Again, what could possibly go wrong? So your boyfriend wants to live with someone else for a few months. So there’s a spark and attraction between them. This isn’t a test run on life with this other woman.
It’s nothing more than a loving couple shaking things up for summer. It could be fun. Who knows, maybe the girlfriend and the pneumatic drill end up finding something special.
Let’s take a dive into the deep end of delusion for a minute. Your celebrity crush wants you to jump into bed with them, but they’re married.
The good news is that nobody is ever going to find out. Are you, assuming your celebrity crush is still alive, taking them up on the offer?
Here’s what some people on Reddit who allowed themselves to live in fantasy land for a minute had to say:
– Steve writes:
beige. we really need to paint the ceiling beige.
SeanJo
If you know, you know. And if you do know, let me know that you know. The inbox is always open.
Thanks for reaching out Steve, while not as touching as Reno Ruth’s “True really true romance” correspondence, your email is appreciated.
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That’s it, another successful week of romance in the books. We’ll do it again next Thursday. In the meantime, you can reach out, anonymously if you prefer, at sean.joseph@outkick.com.
Also, go follow along on Twitter and on Facebook. The DMs are always open.
