One of the biggest off-pitch stories of the 2026 FIFA World Cup was the watershed moment for the rest of the world that was the discovery of ranch dressing.
You know, we always joke about the “European mind” not being able to comprehend things like the Pop-Tarts Bowl, but it turns out even a bottle of Hidden Valley can be tough to wrap those Euro noggins around.
However, as more fans leave North America as the World Cup knockout stage progresses, business-minded folk are doing their best to ensure those who developed a ranch dependency while in the US can courier a bottle home without running afoul of the TSA.
Reddit user u/supermav27 shared a photo to the r/mildlyinteresting subreddit (a personal favorite, because it doesn’t over-promise) showing a tower of ranch dressing alongside World Cup merch at John F. Kennedy International Airport.
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Now, talk about vindication, because a certain very handsome writer (*raises hand*) suggested this very tactic when people started having trouble muling ranch — or as they should call it now, “white gold” — in their carry-ons.
ZERO BS. JUST DAKICH. TAKE THE DON’T @ ME PODCAST ON THE ROAD. DOWNLOAD NOW!
I said your Hudson News-es of the world should order ranch and start selling it because you can take anything you buy there onto the plane. Plus, Hudson News is the ultimate impulse buy store. It’s hard to walk in there without coming out with a pack of gum, a Gatorade, and a mass-market paperback.
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I just wish my obvious business sense could be harnessed to create the next Microsoft or SpaceX instead of just coming up with semi-obvious ways to move a few bottles of ranch dressing.
Well, everyone has to start somewhere, I suppose.
But in the end, it was always about one thing and one thing only: making sure fans who fell in love with ranch dressing could take a bottle home to slather over whatever they normally eat.
