{"id":136714,"date":"2026-06-24T06:17:36","date_gmt":"2026-06-24T10:17:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cablemanpro.com\/wallstreetpr\/its-beyond-time-for-someone-to-lay-down-some-society-wide-ground-rules-for-handshakes-136714"},"modified":"2026-06-24T06:17:36","modified_gmt":"2026-06-24T10:17:36","slug":"its-beyond-time-for-someone-to-lay-down-some-society-wide-ground-rules-for-handshakes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cablemanpro.com\/wallstreetpr\/its-beyond-time-for-someone-to-lay-down-some-society-wide-ground-rules-for-handshakes-136714","title":{"rendered":"It’s beyond time for someone to lay down some society-wide ground rules for handshakes"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

It’s Wednesday, which means it’s time to unload everything that bugged us this week in an all-new edition of <\/a>The Gripe Report.<\/p>\n

This week, we’re talking all about social etiquette<\/a>, and not that stupid nonsense about which fork is for salad.<\/p>\n

I’m talking about real social situations that you will find yourself in and how to navigate them.<\/p>\n

WAIT… WHO IS ACTUALLY USING HIGHWAY REST STOP BBQ GRILLS?<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

I usually have more to say in these intros, but I think that was pretty succinct and gets the job done.<\/p>\n

Good job, me.<\/p>\n

Imagine, if you will, you\u2019ve just gone out for a night with friends.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Friends you know pretty well, but aren\u2019t super close to.<\/p>\n

You have a good time and then say goodbye and walk back to your car, which has been waiting for you in a large parking lot.<\/p>\n

But, during your hunt for your very sensible yet rugged 2025 Ford Bronco Sport<\/a>, you encounter your friend once again.<\/p>\n

What do you do?<\/p>\n

CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN WHY DOCTORS INSIST ON WEIGHING US WITH KEYS AND WALLETS IN OUR POCKETS?<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

Good news: you\u2019ve got a lot of options.<\/p>\n

Bad news: they all suck.<\/p>\n

Your first option is to make some quip like, “Long time, no see!” They\u2019ll fake laugh, but now you\u2019re that <\/i>guy.<\/p>\n

Another option is to initiate a second farewell sequence, which is awkward as hell, and god forbid you run into each other a third time.<\/p>\n

You can also say nothing. I like this idea, but for most people this is going to be the most awkward option of them all.<\/p>\n

I think the solution is a mix of a few of these and that\u2019s just a simple head nod. You acknowledge running into the person, but it doesn\u2019t become a “thing.”<\/p>\n

QR CODE MENUS HEADLINE READERS’ BIGGEST FOOD AND RESTAURANT GRIPES<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

Why is this so painful?<\/p>\n

It really shouldn\u2019t be, but you do it, and you want to just go home and crawl in bed.<\/p>\n

There are a few places I feel like I\u2019m most likely to throw an ill-timed “You too,” and the first is at any restaurant.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t tell you how many times I\u2019ve been out to eat<\/a> and expected the server or person behind the counter to say “Have a good one” or something to that effect, only for them to say something along the lines of “Enjoy your food.”<\/p>\n

Then you drop a “You too” because you\u2019re caught off-guard, and now you just look like an ass.<\/p>\n

The second most common place I do it is with parking attendants. I go to park for a concert or hockey<\/a> game and they go, “Enjoy the show\/game,” and I give them the ol\u2019 “You too.”<\/p>\n

Yes, I\u2019m sure they\u2019ll enjoy standing in this parking garage while I have fun. At least they\u2019re getting paid.<\/p>\n

At least this is far worse for the person who says “You too” than it is for the person receiving the you too.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m tired of having to read body language, situations, and approach angle to determine whether or not someone is coming at me for a handshake or a dap or one of those handshake hug deals.<\/p>\n

My success rate has to be hovering around 60% to 70%, but I think it should be 100% because we live in a society. Everyone needs to help each other out on this and not throw so many curveballs.<\/p>\n

We need ground rules for this. Maybe something like handshakes only if at least 50% of people in your vicinity have collared shirts on. That tells you it\u2019s a more formal occasion, and not the time to bro hug like one of the surfers from “Point Break.”<\/p>\n

I’m not even against everyone wearing some kind of name tag that tells you what they go for.<\/p>\n

I think they got this one right in Japan<\/a>. Bows across the board.<\/p>\n

They give out bows there like one of Oprah’s favorite things, and the only difference is the break angle of your waist.<\/p>\n

Deeper bow means more respect… at least that’s what I learned from an episode of “Curb Your Enthusiasm”.<\/i>..<\/p>\n

Whatever it takes to not have to play that weird guessing game all the time.<\/p>\n

One of my absolute biggest pet peeves<\/a> is people who can’t stand silence and have <\/i>to talk on elevators.<\/p>\n

I’m not saying you’re not allowed to talk on elevators. I’m just saying, I can’t stand people who feel compelled to talk for the sake of talking just because they can’t stand in silence for a few floors.<\/p>\n

I have no issue with silence. I could stand there all day in a group of people, not say a word, and have no problem with it. I don’t know if I’m just zen or laid back or a douche or what, but I can go without talking for hours and hours.<\/p>\n

Other people? They start crawling out of their skin<\/a>.<\/p>\n

That’s how we end up with people just spurting out words for no reason.<\/p>\n

I’m talking about stuff like this: the doors close, you’re going four floors up, and all you hear for the first two is the humming of the Otis-brand elevator’s cable pulling you skyward.<\/p>\n

Then someone has to turn to whoever they’re traveling with and say, “Lunch was good.”<\/p>\n

Why?! Just why?<\/p>\n

ZERO BS. JUST DAKICH. TAKE THE DON’T @ ME PODCAST ON THE ROAD. DOWNLOAD NOW!<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

That could’ve waited until we were all out of this box being hoisted by rickety cable. You had <\/i>to say something because you couldn’t stand the sound of your inner ear for 27 seconds.<\/p>\n

I know that’s nitpicky, but I hear this stuff all the time. Even worse is when the people in the elevator with you decide it’s a good time to practice their vaudeville act and try to make everyone laugh with quips and schtick.<\/p>\n

Or worse, they try to impress everyone by dropping hints about their plans or their job or whatever.<\/p>\n

This is part of a bigger issue for me: Not everyone needs to know everything about you all the time. Social media has made this an even bigger problem, and it has bled into the real world.<\/p>\n

It’s why I hate bumper stickers so much.<\/p>\n

I’m just sitting behind you at a red light; I don’t need to know what kind of dog you have, where you went to school, what your favorite teams are (or which ones you dislike if you’ve got Calvin of “Calvin & Hobbes” <\/i>fame peeing on their logo), and the fact that your kid is on the honor roll.<\/p>\n

I feel that way about elevators. The less I know about you, the more I like you.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Source – https:\/\/www.foxnews.com\/outkick-culture\/beyond-time-someone-lay-society-wide-ground-rules-handshakes <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s Wednesday, which means it’s time to unload everything that bugged us this week in an all-new edition of The Gripe Report. 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