{"id":133437,"date":"2026-05-26T15:57:19","date_gmt":"2026-05-26T19:57:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cablemanpro.com\/wallstreetpr\/danica-patrick-belts-out-tunes-in-indy-bryce-harpers-toothpaste-application-is-wild-and-macho-manson-133437"},"modified":"2026-05-26T15:57:19","modified_gmt":"2026-05-26T19:57:19","slug":"danica-patrick-belts-out-tunes-in-indy-bryce-harpers-toothpaste-application-is-wild-and-macho-manson","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cablemanpro.com\/wallstreetpr\/danica-patrick-belts-out-tunes-in-indy-bryce-harpers-toothpaste-application-is-wild-and-macho-manson-133437","title":{"rendered":"Danica Patrick belts out tunes in Indy, Bryce Harper’s toothpaste application is wild, and ‘Macho Manson’"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Happy post-Memorial Day Tuesday, and what better way to finish off the day than with some Nightcaps<\/i><\/a>.<\/p>\n

I’ve gotten a tap on the shoulder to deputize for Zach and Amber this week, and just like you, I’m settling back into work after one hell of a holiday weekend<\/a>.<\/p>\n

On Monday, the wife and I had some friends over to stately Reigle Manor (our rented townhome), and I got up nice and early to tend to a pork butt and a turkey breast, which I must say came out perfectly.<\/p>\n

I’ve smoked a few pork butts, and I think the planets just aligned on this one; it was *chef’s kiss* <\/i>perfection.<\/p>\n

ARE PEOPLE WHO PARK ON STREETS FACING THE WRONG WAY THE WORST PEOPLE ON EARTH?<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

We played some games, including one called Quiplash that’s on Netflix \u2014 which people forget has games; I certainly did \u2014 where you write quips and try to out-funny your competitors.<\/p>\n

It was a great time, though, as a fella who earns his money word-writin’, I was sweating it a little bit. I couldn’t lay an egg. It’d be like if a dude who plays in the NBA<\/a> goes to Dave & Buster’s and throws brick after brick while playing Pop-A-Shot with his pals.<\/p>\n

It means nothing, but it would be embarrassing as hell.<\/p>\n

I’m happy to say I survived, but ashamed to say I did not win.<\/p>\n

Funny enough, another game we played involved drawing, and my wife \u2014 a real-deal professional artist \u2014 had this exact feeling.<\/p>\n

But, even if I had embarrassed myself, it would take more than a shot to the ego to kill the buzz I was feeling from Sunday’s Indianapolis 500.<\/p>\n

Good. Lord.<\/p>\n

I watch a lot<\/i> of racing (in fact, at one point on Sunday I was juggling the Indy 500 and the F1 race between my TV and an iPad), but there is just nothing like Indy.<\/p>\n

I mean, I think I watched that final lap at least 10 to 12 times and will continue to, because it was mind-blowing.<\/p>\n

SOPHIE CUNNINGHAM BELTS OUT A GARTH BROOKS CLASSIC IN HER SHREDDED JORTS AT INDY BAR, PGA BEER PRICES & MEAT<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

Here’s race-winner Felix Rosenqvist’s onboard camera from the final lap. It’s the stuff of legend.<\/p>\n

Rosenqvist is a great driver, but until Sunday was believed by many to be on the bubble as far as re-signing next season.<\/p>\n

Well, I don’t think that’s much of a concern anymore.<\/p>\n

Now, while we’ve got Indy on the brain, let’s check in on the top-finishing woman in Indy 500 history…<\/p>\n

Danica Patrick<\/a> was in Speedway, Indiana, this weekend to hop on Fox’s Indy 500 coverage, and once the race was in the books, she clearly had some gas left in the tank.<\/p>\n

MLB<\/a> reporter Tricia Whitaker (another OutKick favorite; this is like the Nightcaps<\/i> version of when Thor shows up in a Captain America movie) shared a clip on social media of Danica hopping on stage and belting out some tunes.<\/p>\n

I’ve said it many times: I feel like every American \u2014 and an estimated 1 in 1,000 do every year \u2014 should make a pilgrimage to the Indianapolis 500, and if the race and this video don’t sell you on that, I’m not sure what will.<\/p>\n

I went in 2021, and it was incredible. You roll in early in the morning, have whatever cold beverage makes you happy, and eat a pork tenderloin sandwich all before like 10 a.m..<\/p>\n

Then you have what year after year is one of the most entertaining races on the motorsports calendar, and then <\/i>you can go to a bar and watch Danica Patrick sit in with the band.<\/p>\n

I legitimately do not know what else you could ask for.<\/p>\n

Actually, if you asked for anything else, you’d be unreasonable. There, I said it.<\/p>\n

I’ve heard that there are many ways to skin a cat (which is such a weird saying; at some point in history, there was so much cat-skinning going on that everyone had their own method), but I thought there was only one way to apply toothpaste.<\/p>\n

You grabbed your free toothbrush with your dentist’s name printed on it, grabbed the tube of Colgate Optic White in the other, then squeezed a pea-sized amount on the bristles. Then you brushed until the end of a song on the radio, spit out frothiness, then went on with your day.<\/p>\n

Wrong.<\/p>\n

Phillies star Bryce Harper was live-streaming from the bathroom and started brushing his teeth.<\/p>\n

But it was the way he applied toothpaste that melted brains.<\/p>\n

That’s right: toothpaste straight to the food hole.<\/p>\n

This made me realize that I’ve never really seen that many people apply toothpaste, but I still thought we all did it the same way.<\/p>\n

That said, I could be convinced that this is a big-brain move from Harper.<\/p>\n

One thing that I hate is when a glob of toothpaste falls off your brush and into the sink. This happens to me when I put toothpaste on the brush, then hit it with a quick burst of water (a move I have done my entire life and can’t explain why. It’s like I think this activates the toothpaste or something).<\/p>\n

But Bryce never has this problem because he skips the brush entirely.<\/p>\n

Just a note to any Phillies reading this: Maybe don’t borrow Bryce’s tube of toothpaste if you forget yours.<\/p>\n

ZERO BS. JUST DAKICH. TAKE THE DON\u2019T @ ME PODCAST ON THE ROAD. DOWNLOAD NOW!<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

Autographs are kind of weird when you really think about them. Like, I’ve got a lot of signed stuff too, but the way having someone write their name on something increases the value of an otherwise run-of-the-mill baseball or poster or hockey puck, or in some cases, a pair of breasts is wild.<\/p>\n

Actually, it might decrease the value of that last example, the more I think about it.<\/p>\n

But this has led to autograph hounds who harass celebrities for autographs and then turn around and sell them on eBay.<\/p>\n

Well, Russell Crowe has had about enough and laid down the law with some autograph seekers in Paris.<\/p>\n

First of all, Russell Crowe just rolling out of a restaurant with what looks like drink spills all over his shirt rules.<\/p>\n

Now, he got some guff for this, but I loved it.<\/p>\n

When you break it down, all he was asking was for everyone to behave like civilized people as opposed to Walking Dead <\/i>zombies with issues of People <\/i>magazine and some Sharpies.<\/p>\n

What’s wrong with that?<\/p>\n

Plus, he reportedly signed everything, so who cares?<\/p>\n

Personally, I think a sign of maturity is realizing that if you celebrity, you don’t have to have them sign a napkin or shove a camera in their face.<\/p>\n

Just politely and discreetly be like, “Hey, just wanted to say I love your work and it’s an honor to meet you,” then offer a nice crisp handshake.<\/p>\n

You instantly come off as 1,000% cooler and less of a pain because you’re not asking them for anything. Heck, you might even end up scoring a minute or two of actual conversation.<\/p>\n

Sure, you don’t have a slip of paper with their name scratched on it, but you do have a memory and some dignity.<\/p>\n

It’s been a minute since I’ve been to a concert, but I remember at least a few shows I went to thinking, “My mosh pit days are behind me…”<\/p>\n

I’d like to thank this dude for making me feel confident in this assessment.<\/p>\n

I saw this video of some small-ish metal or hardcore show where people are moshing… sort of.<\/p>\n

I’ve been in mosh pits before, but no one was acting like they were trying to Steven Seagal karate or were being eaten alive by a colony of fire ants.<\/p>\n

But that’s what was going on here, but keep an eye on the kid toward the back.<\/p>\n

It might make you want to wear a cup the next time you go to a concert.<\/p>\n

Something tells me that dude didn’t make any new friends that night.<\/p>\n

Although, as I said, I haven’t moshed in a while, so maybe this is just what the kids are into nowadays.<\/p>\n

I love impressions.<\/p>\n

I do some of my own, but most of them are of dead people for some reason.<\/p>\n

MARK NORMAND SAYS LATE NIGHT IS ‘DYING’ \u2014 HOW THE STAND-UP COMIC KEEPS UP IN A CHANGING COMEDY SCENE<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

Larry Fine, Johnny Carson, Vincent Price, Ed Wynn, Paul Lynde, etc.<\/p>\n

You know, all the ones that drive the ladies wild.<\/p>\n

But when it comes to impressions of wrestlers, there are two top dogs: comedians Dan Soder and Will Sasso.<\/p>\n

Podcaster Chris Van Vliet had them both on his show, “Insight with Chris Van Vliet,”, and it was great.<\/p>\n

Of course, sometimes, it’s not just about the impression, but what you say while doing the impression.<\/p>\n

Which is why reading Charles Manson quotes in the voice of “Macho Man” Randy Savage is gold, Jerry.<\/p>\n

So good, and it’s really creepy how well that worked.<\/p>\n

Also, if you want another hilarious impression from Will Sasso, go look up “Kenny Rogers Jackass” from his MadTV <\/i>days.<\/p>\n

It’s not an accurate impression, but it’s hilarious.<\/p>\n

Now, just because we mentioned Charles Manson does not mean I’m going to shoehorn in that clip where he gets up and starts dancing in the middle of an interview.<\/p>\n

I mean, we’ve all seen it, and it adds nothing to this story…<\/p>\n

…alright, fine. I can’t help myself.<\/p>\n

…<\/p>\n

That’s it for this edition of Nightcaps!<\/i><\/p>\n

See you tomorrow!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Source – https:\/\/www.foxnews.com\/outkick-culture\/danica-patrick-belts-tunes-indy-bryce-harpers-toothpaste-application-wild-macho-manson <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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