{"id":122745,"date":"2026-03-01T08:00:18","date_gmt":"2026-03-01T13:00:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cablemanpro.com\/wallstreetpr\/ive-been-a-pastor-for-40-years-young-men-are-struggling-and-i-think-i-know-why-122745"},"modified":"2026-03-01T08:00:18","modified_gmt":"2026-03-01T13:00:18","slug":"ive-been-a-pastor-for-40-years-young-men-are-struggling-and-i-think-i-know-why","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cablemanpro.com\/wallstreetpr\/ive-been-a-pastor-for-40-years-young-men-are-struggling-and-i-think-i-know-why-122745","title":{"rendered":"I\u2019ve been a pastor for 40 years. Young men are struggling and I think I know why"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Young men aren\u2019t toxic, so much as they are unformed. The major paths to community, life advancement, social and personal intelligibility have all more or less disintegrated in the past few decades. That disintegration was accelerated dramatically, even completed, by the pandemic.<\/p>\n

Which means that men aren\u2019t getting the formation they desperately need to become good men \u2014 and that they have historically received.<\/p>\n

One in four of American young men report feeling lonesome. Many of them have either been excluded from or dropped out of their generation\u2019s dating scene<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Their educational attainment and motivation continue to fall further and further behind those of their female peers. Suicide rates among men \u2014 and especially young men \u2014 are growing at alarming rates. They\u2019re also worryingly prone to political and religious radicalization.<\/p>\n

ADVENT REMINDS US WHY JOSEPH\u2019S FAITHFUL OBEDIENCE MATTERS IN THE CHRISTMAS STORY<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

A generation of malformed or unformed young men is a serious social and political issue<\/a>, in addition to being a real tragedy for each and every young man struggling this way.<\/p>\n

But when discussing how and why young men seem to have lost their way, we tend to over-focus on the problem and over-simplify the solution. We tend to discuss all the ways these young men fail themselves and others, and focus far too little on what has failed them.<\/p>\n

Our culture is quick to take the worst expressions of male behavior and label masculinity as toxic. But as Scott Galloway writes in “Notes on Being a Man,” “[There\u2019s] no such thing as \u2018toxic masculinity \u2014 that\u2019s the emperor of all oxymorons. There\u2019s cruelty, criminality, bullying, predation, and abuse of power. If you\u2019re guilty of any of these things, or conflate being male with coarseness and savagery, you\u2019re not masculine; you\u2019re anti-masculine.”<\/p>\n

BILL MAHER SYMPATHIZES WITH YOUNG MEN WHO STRUGGLE WITH DATING, BUT TELLS THEM TO GROW UP<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

Masculinity itself is not and cannot be toxic. But individual men can be. They often are, if they\u2019re left unguided.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s failing young men today isn\u2019t who they are, but the absence of guidance and formation shaping who they\u2019re becoming.<\/p>\n

Learning how to be a man is a crucial and difficult process. You just can\u2019t do it alone. I certainly didn\u2019t. I look back on the men who reached out to me in high school and college \u2014 managers, teachers, coaches and friends of my family \u2014 and marvel at how different my life could have been without their intervention.<\/p>\n

VANITY FAIR DECLARES THE END OF THE OLD-SCHOOL MOVIE STAR, THE RISE OF HOLLYWOOD\u2019S \u2018VULNERABLE\u2019 LEADING MEN<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

One of my earliest mentors was a man named Mr. Lewis. He taught me how to play basketball with the city kids. My mom told me I needed to play on their team, so she dropped me off and introduced us.<\/p>\n

And he changed my life. He challenged me. My teammates challenged me. He helped me feel safe, helped me learn confidence and humility. I was one of the worst players on the team, but I loved it \u2014 largely because I loved him.<\/p>\n

Men need loving, mature, stable relationships with people who care about them and can guide them well. They need mentors, friends, managers, coaches<\/a>, colleagues, teachers, professors and neighbors who will help guide them into flourishing masculinity. They need all of us to remain explicitly and charitably committed to supporting their formation.<\/p>\n

DR MARC SIEGEL: WHY GEN Z IS TURNING BACK TO GOD, MIRACLES AND REAL-WORLD COMMUNITY<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve also seen this underscored repeatedly, working with young men over all my years as a pastor. Young men who flourish have other men who care for them and are willing to actively and specifically guide them. Young men who struggle usually don\u2019t.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s why I think the crisis of masculinity is in fact a crisis of men. It\u2019s a failure of men who need to help form other men, but don\u2019t; and a failure of men who need formation and don\u2019t receive it.<\/p>\n

One precipitating factor in this crisis is simply that the formation young men need is opposed to the kind of autonomy we\u2019ve unleashed on society in recent decades.<\/p>\n

FROM ‘HAPPILY EVER AFTER’ TO ‘NOT SO FAST’: WHY YOUNG WOMEN ARE TURNING FROM MARRIAGE<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

We tell men to self-define, self-direct, self-construct. We replaced formation with autonomy, and they began to destroy themselves. Society labels this kind of direction as control, when in fact, it\u2019s formation.<\/p>\n

In \u2018Why are single men so miserable?\u2019 Allie Volpe explores the emotional and social difficulties young men face when they try and fail at self-directed formation and end up lonely.<\/p>\n

“A lack of social support has myriad negative effects, regardless of gender: higher risk of mortality, depression<\/a>, poor sleep quality, weakened immunity, anxiety and low self-esteem,” Volpe writes. “Having a network to rely on has been found to strengthen a person\u2019s coping abilities, and quality of life, even while stressed.”<\/p>\n

MAHER ARGUES TRUMP APPEALS TO YOUNG MEN TIRED OF BEING SHAMED FOR WHO THEY ARE<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

Social media doesn\u2019t fix the isolation, no matter how much it may feel like it connects us to movements, meaning and other people. The “formation” young men in particular receive from social media, influencer culture or television is often just another form of destructive self-creation. After all, they choose (to some extent) the content they consume. They are shaped by their interests and prejudices and unformed desires.<\/p>\n

But nothing they consume online can give them the depth or direction they need to grow into good men. Nothing they can find online will give them the resources they need to endure real hardship or suffering. Their “autonomy” is just tragic, deforming isolation.<\/p>\n

And this confusing, isolating, fractured digital “formation” that has largely begun to serve the purpose of bygone mediating institutions.<\/p>\n

HOW FEMINISM HIJACKED THE CONVERSATION ON MASCULINITY<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

The local organizations<\/a> that used to so richly populate our lives asked something of us \u2014 responsibilities, expectations, standards \u2014 and in doing so, helped us all grow, individually and together. We had labor unions, civic societies, Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts, a rich school club culture. Churches were active and socially dynamic.<\/p>\n

Towns used to have many generations closely tied together, so that the very young and very old were regularly in contact and developed friendships and mentor relationships with relative ease.<\/p>\n

CLICK HERE FOR MORE FOX NEWS OPINION<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

These embodied, specific, personal relationships embedded in and organized by real and lasting communities are essential for young men\u2019s formation. There simply is no internet substitute.<\/p>\n

All of these institutions helped support strong men with clear formative and normative relationships. Every single one fostered the kinds of social interactions men are more prone to engage in and provided them a social network to lean on.<\/p>\n

While almost all of these institutions are a faint shadow of what they once were, this remains unchanged: Formation requires real people, real sacrifice, and real community \u2014 and young men will not flourish without it.<\/p>\n

If we want good young men \u2014 and we should \u2014 then we must stop outsourcing their formation to screens and self-direction, and once again take responsibility for shaping them with our presence, our intention and our lives.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Source – https:\/\/www.foxnews.com\/opinion\/ive-been-pastor-40-years-young-men-struggling-i-think-i-know-why <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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